Lots of Love, Lily
by funkytoes
Summary: Lily and Sirius never really got along, but they never did try to either. One summer will change that. A James/Lily fic through the eyes of a budding Sirius-Lily bromance. [Seventh Year. Jily]
1. Chapter 1

~ Prologue ~

To a stranger, someone who _did not_ know the ins and outs of Hogwarts in the glorious age of the nineteen-seventies, the current scene unfolding in car number six of the Hogwarts Express might have been alarming.

But to those who _do_ know the ins and outs, or at least, paid attention to the letters sent from siblings or children attending their education at Hogwarts during this time, one might not be so surprised after all.

"Honestly, Potter, when _will you get it through that thick skull of yours?"_ Lily demanded, crossing her arms, glaring at the boy in front of her as if she could not quite believe him. But, sadly, she could. This was _Potter._ Only he would have the audacity.

"Well," he said, with the air and look of someone desperately attempting to save face. "Maybe if you _do_ go out with me, I'll be more obliged to—"

"Oh, that's _rich,"_ she interrupted, her voice dripping with annoyance. "Twice in five minutes. I think that must be some kind of record for you. Oh no," she corrected, smiling benignly at him. "There was that time last year that you asked me out on a date at least ten times in a minute."

"I'll admit that was an oversight," he admitted reluctantly, cheeks flaming. "But _really_ , Evans, I don't ask you out _that_ much."

She narrowed her eyes. It was true, of course. He at least didn't ask her out _every day._ But it was not the _quantity_ of his obnoxious pursuing of her that bothered her so much. It was the _quality._

Sure, he flirted with, or at her, more like, on a daily basis, but he seemed to hold out on asking her out until he had something, or someone, to ransom, or an elaborate prank to pull, or when he and his little friends could pull off a barber shop quartet to sing a love ballad to her (that, in particular, was at least memorable, if not humiliating.)

Which was why this was so peculiar to her, and caught her off guard. Off guard, because she had just had a little run-in with Severus, her old and former friend. Just her luck that Potter happened to spring upon her just as Severus was leaving her vicinity. Peculiar, because Potter never did anything by halves. He always made a show of it—asking her out where he could make an elaborate effort that, she suspected was most important, was visible to everyone and anyone who could possible be able to watch him.

"Why would I write _you?"_ she cut him off. "I hate you more than anyone else I've met."

She regretted the words instantly, the moment they left her mouth. Immediately, his brows furrowed, and she could see a storm brewing just below the surface of his countenance. She felt guilt trickle down her back, engulfing her. _I shouldn't have said that…_ she thought, _I shouldn't have said_ any _of it._ And she wouldn't have. If not for the rawness that the run-in with Severus left in the pit of her stomach.

She sighed, preparing to apologize for her sharp, and untoward, and, dare she say it, untrue, words when he spoke again.

"Fine," he said shortly, running his hand irritably through his hair. He turned and walked stiffly away. She watched him leave, the guilty feeling not subsiding. She took a deep breath, preparing herself yet again, this time to hurry after him. But in a moment of weakness, stayed herself.

That would only encourage him. She regretted her words… but she almost would rather let him think her catty than encourage him to pursue her in such humiliating and self-serving ways. The _last_ thing she wanted was the encourage Potter into thinking she was interested in him. But she _should_ apologize.

 _But what did it matter?_ she asked herself dismally, resolving to sending him a letter once she got home, as she slid open the door to her compartment and slipped inside. _He'll only irritate me again the next time we see each other—and I'll end up saying something cruel and untrue to him again._

"What did Potter want?" Marlene asked cheerily. "Ask you out again? Looked like the two of you were having a row."

"Oh," Mary said, frowning. "I hope you let him down easy, Lils… otherwise his summer is going to start off rather unfortunately."

"It won't be anything of the sort," Lily said, automatically gaining a dismissive voice. She sat down with a heavy sigh of contempt. "I'm sure he's forgotten about it already."

Marlene chuckled, before looking down at the game of Wizard's Chess she and Alice were playing. "Oh, _shit,"_ she muttered, as one of Alice's knights disemboweled her last pawn. Alice turned her attention to Lily, as Marlene focused hers on the board.

" _Lily,"_ Alice chastised. "I _really_ think, Lily, you should be nicer to James. He's not a bad guy—"

"Oh _, no,"_ Lily said, a tad sarcastically. "He's not bad at all. Except for being an arrogant ass who's constantly hexing poor third years—"

" _Slytherin_ third years," Marlene pointed out, as if this justified Potter and Black's constant actions.

"Doesn't _matter,"_ Lily insisted. "The point is, he an… an… absolute _toerag."_

" _Nice,"_ Marlene snickered. "Totally original, Lils. Not like you use that word to describe Potter every fifteen minutes. Get a dictionary.'

" _Thesaurus,"_ Lily retorted, rolling her eyes. "If you're going to use insults, at _least_ use the right ones, harebrain." She quickly ducked the chocolate frog that Marlene tossed at her head, and all four girls giggled. The poor thing hopped desperately for the window, but before it was able to reach it, Alice snatched it up, nibbling on a webbed foot, much to Marlene's outburst of protest. "The point is," Lily continued, "The _point_ is, I can't stand him. Potter."

"You absolutely can," Alice said, grinning slyly at her. "Don't think I don't see you goggling at him when you think no one's looking."

Lily's face flushed and she glared at her friend.

"Just think, Lily," Marlene said, scowling as Alice's queen took her king. "With Alice gone next year, you won't have anyone making keen observations about how much you want to suck Potter's—"

"Oh, don't talk like that," Mary interrupted, blushing deeply.

"What?" Marlene raised an eyebrow. "It's true, isn't it Lils?"

"It's _not,"_ Lily said adamantly. "And Mary is right. That's crass."

"It's true, isn't it, Alice?" Marlene turned to Alice for support, and the other girl winked at her. "I personally don't see why you're into him, Lils," Marlene continued, making a face. "But I don't really get why _anyone_ would want to date a boy," she added, as a thoughtful afterthought. "They're all _prats."_

"Frank isn't," Alice said dreamily.

"Oh, yes he is," Marlene said, waving her wand, the chess board resetting itself. "He's male, thereby by default, he's a _prat."_

" _You're_ a prat," Alice retorted, her voice playful.

Marlene made a great show of rolling her eyes. "I just hope I do well on my NEWTs next year," she said, looking a little worried. "I'm so jealous of you, Alice. Early acceptance into the Auror's Program…" she sighed dreamily, "That's got to be some kind of record…"

"Well, I won't be an Auror for a few years," Alice said dismissively. "I may have passed some of the preliminary tests, but I've got to take the others, and then three long years of training before—"

"Yeah," Marlene said, grinning broadly at her. "But think… three long years with _Frank."_

Alice blushed, but it didn't stop her from sniggering along with Marlene.

Lily tuned out her friends' conversation as she stared out the window, watching as the train set off from Hogsmeade station and began to pick up speed. Her and Potter's 'row' returned to the forefront of her attention, as guilt once again began to make itself uncomfortably known to her.

She hated how cruel she could be to him sometimes. It wasn't that she _hated_ him. In fact, though she would never admit it out loud, to anyone, let alone her smug friends, and _never_ to Potter himself, there was some truth to with her friends liked to tease her with.

She would write him a letter this summer. Apologize.

But for now, she would put him out of her mind.

And enjoy the start of her holiday.

" _Well,"_ Marlene said irritably, as Alice took her King yet again. "One thing is certain. I'm glad you're gone next year, Alice, because I'm _sick_ of losing at chess all the time."

* * *

 ** _To be continued…_**

 **Hi! Here is my Lily and Sirius Bromance story! While the story will center around Lily and James' relationship (i.e., getting together, and perhaps what happens afterwards,) it will be through the eyes of Lily and Sirius, and will focus quite a bit on their budding friendship.**

 **I've been wanting to write a Marauder's Era fic since I was about eleven/twelve years old, so to satisfy my former pre-teen childhood self, this story will be a little tropey ;) But hopefully it won't be too obnoxious haha**

 **(SIDE NOTE: The image for this fic is Lily and _James_ kissing, not Sirius. I wanted to use that illustration because I'm proud of how it turned out, but I just realized it could at first glance be construed as Lily and Sirius kissing. It's James, not Sirius haha)**

 **Thanks again for reading!**

 **I'd love to hear if you'd like to read more, and, as always, I hope you have a wonderful day!**


	2. Chapter 2

~ Chapter One ~

It was a ferociously hot day, when she saw him sitting by himself, at a table outside of Florean's. That had been suspicious enough, for Sirius Black was never alone. He was always surrounded by his friends, all of whom were deplorable, with the exception of Remus, who Lily was actually quite fond of. If not his friends, and often _with_ his friends, he was surrounded by his 'fans.'

The Marauders, as their idiotic little gang insisted on calling themselves, were infamous and popular, and had garnered quite the following at Hogwarts.

She amounted it to it being the first week of the holidays that attributed to him being alone. Perhaps his friends were busy. And she couldn't expect him to be surrounded by his gaggle of followers in Diagon Alley, during the holidays.

But it was still suspicious, and it still warranted investigation.

"Where are your little friends?" she asked, as she stopped before the table he was sitting at. Under the shade of the umbrella, it was much cooler, and she was tempted to sit down.

He looked up, startled, and she was instantly taken aback. There was a rawness in his expression, an emptiness, and yet incredibly fraught with emotion, and not the good kind. Almost immediately, his face sliding into an easy, pleasant one, the mask returning as if it never left. He grinned up at her. "Lily-Flower," he said, his voice silky and flirty, as it always was with him whenever he addressed her. "Would you sit down? I'll share my ice-cream with you."

"I'd rather have my own, thanks," she replied without missing a beat. He looked his usual self now, all grace and easiness and effortless charisma. But there was something about _that_ _look_ that she did not like. Not one bit.

Lily Evans did not care much for Black. She did not like his association with Potter, and she did not like most, if not all, of his outward mannerisms and habits, and personality, nor anything else about him, really. But she was not one to abandon someone who had _that_ look on his face. And so she told him she would be back, and walked instead to the window, where she ordered a large, double scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream, in a cup.

She sat down before him, and saw that he looked surprised she had done so. "Where _are_ your friends?" she asked him. "I can't tell you how surprised I am to find you here alone."

" _You're_ here alone," he pointed out.

"My friends left already," she informed him. "But I wanted to do a little extra shopping, and I'm not due home for another few hours, so I might as well make the most of it."

"Ah," was his only reply.

His ice cream, she noted, was barely touched, but thanks to some handy charms was in no danger of melting in the summer heat. She ate a few bites of her own ice cream, and said, after swallowing, "That doesn't explain why _you're_ here alone."

"I can do things without my friends," he said, stabbing his ice cream with his spoon.

She paused, narrowing her eyes.

"Besides," he said, looking at her with those deep black eyes, and she now wondered what else they were hiding. "What do you care?"

"Black," she said, pointedly. "It's concerning."

"Think I'm going to muck something up, as usual?" he asked her, a little ferociously.

"No," she said slowly. "But I think you could use someone to talk to."

He continued to stab his ice cream relentlessly, clearly thinking.

She sighed. "It's okay, Black—I mean, Sirius," his name sounded foreign on her tongue, so infrequently had she ever used his first name, but she continued without giving it too much thought. "I won't tell anyone whatever you tell me."

He snorted his disbelief.

"I'm serious," she said. "I'm very good at keeping secrets."

He looked at her skeptically.

"Fine, don't believe me," she said airily. "The point is, people find it easy to tell me their secrets—and you don't hear about me blathering about them all over the place, do you?"

He continued to give her a skeptical look, but it seemed to have dissipated slightly. "Really," Sirius said, his voice void of any trust.

"My point is, you're a _person,_ a person with _feelings—_ I _assume,"_ she said, putting up her hands in defeat of the words, "So whatever you need to talk about, I'm an open, and confidential, ear."

He regarded her carefully.

"So you can trust me," she shoved some more ice cream in her mouth, sucking on the spoon. "I'm a good listener."

His brows furrowed, and he breathed in slightly, before asking, "Why do you even care?"

"I may not like you very much," she began.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"But you're still a person. And you clearly need to talk some things out. So out with it."

He gazed at her shrewdly, before reluctantly beginning to speak. "Alright. It's the Blacks."

"Your family?" she paused, thinking. She knew the rumors of the Black family, particularly their treatment of the eldest son. "If I remember correctly, you moved in with the Potters last summer, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he said. "Which was great—and still is great… but…"

He trailed off, looking guilty, and she waited for him to continue. "It's just… the Potters are… you know."

"I've never met any of the Potters outside of Potter—uh, James," Lily said. "So, no, I don't know."

"Well, they're just about the perfect little family you could ever meet," Sirius said, sounding a little bitter. "And don't get me wrong, I love them all, but…" he sighed. "Look, besides my Uncle Alphard and Andromeda, my cousin, I hate every damn person in the Black family. Couldn't care less what happens to them."

He said this so contemptuously, that she almost thought he was finished speaking.

"But…" he continued reluctantly, "Seeing James with his family, and his extended family… I can't help…" his voice was dangerously tight now, glaring at his poor ice cream, which had been stabbed so many times there were countless divots on its surface.

"I'm sorry," she said. "That must be really hard. I can't know would it would be like, but I can emphasize, I think. My sister, she… she doesn't like me very much. We don't get on and… We used to be best of friends, but now…" she shrugged, trying to let the weight of the sadness roll off her shoulders. "I've given up trying to be close to her again. I feel like I just need to move on."

She blinked. "I'm so sorry," she said hurriedly, flushing in embarrassment. "I just made the conversation about me—"

"No," he shook his head. "I know what you mean. I decided a long time ago that I was going to move on. Except for Alphard and Andromeda, of course. James just doesn't get it. I mean, he hates my family too, so he understands _that._ But he doesn't understand why it's hard for me to see how happy his own family is. How kind and generous and _good_ they are. Most of them, anyway. He and his parents certainly. His family is so loving and accepting and… I guess I'm not used to being suffocated with _love,_ you know?"

He stopped himself, looking embarrassed, and a little wary. "You didn't put an honesty spell on me, did you?" he asked suspiciously. "Slip some Veritaserum into my ice cream?"

She rolled her eyes. "You haven't taken a bite since I arrived," she said. "No, Black. I think you're just… opening up. It feels good, doesn't it? To let it out."

He gave a shrug, but looked as if his apathy was just for show.

"I'm glad you told me," she said softly. "I think… I think I understand you a bit better now."

He gave another shrug. "Same," he grunted, still looking embarrassed, as if he regretted spilling so many private thoughts to her.

She looked out across the street of Diagon Alley, and found it relatively empty. That was the way of it, these days. So many people were petrified of going out, with Death Eaters on the prowl. For a moment she wondered if it would not be better to go home now, instead of risking another few hours by herself.

"I have a bit more shopping to do," she said, looking back at Sirius. "You can join me, if you'd like."

"Join you?" he looked at her in surprise. "Why, aren't _you_ particularly friendly today?"

"I'm always friendly, Black," she sniffed indignantly. "Well?"

"Alright," he said, with forced, nonchalant shrug. "I'm not due back at the Potters for a few hours, so I can waste time with you."

"If you're with me, Black, your time will never be wasted," she informed him, picking up her cup of ice cream. He did the same and together they left the small enclosed patio, passing through the white gate and onto the street. "What ice cream did you get?"

"Cherry Chocolate Mode X-Treme," he said, finally taking a bite. "Remus got me hooked on the stuff. He can shovel away chocolate like it's nobody's business. I mean, it's good, but I rather wish I had just gotten plain cherry."

"I got Mint Chocolate Chip," she informed him. "It's my favorite. When I was little, it was because of my eyes—almost the same color, most of the time. But then somewhere along the way I realized I just really like mint. So it's been my favorite since. And I _love_ coming here for it, because the mint _really_ stands out, and by comparison, Muggle ice cream is a bit of a let down."

"I noticed that," Black said. "James and I went to Godric's Hollow last summer—it's right near the Potter estate, and got some ice cream from a muggle shop. Had to both of us throw it away. You should taste Mrs. Potter's homemade ice cream… absolutely divine. Puts this slop to shame."

"I would like that," Lily said, smiling at him. "Except for the going to Potter's house part. I'm sure his mother is a delight, but I could never go there, no matter how good the ice cream was."

"You're missing out," he sang, taking another bite of his ice cream. "So, where are we going now?"

"Well, first I need some basics," she said, "Some books to study," here, Black groaned and muttered something about it _being the Holiday's, Evans,_ but she ignored him, and continued on, "And then I was thinking of leaving Diagon Alley to go shopping for a dress. They don't really sell Muggle clothing here. Have you spent much time in Muggle London? I think you'd find it interesting."

"Well, no, I haven't," he admitted. "My family discouraged it—and the Potter's never saw a need… Though James, Remus, Peter and I did get lost one time—on purpose, mind you."

"Of course," she agreed, grinning at him. "Then it's settled," she said firmly, before stopping before Flourish and Blots. "I'll stop in here real quick, and then we'll go on our own little adventure."

"Well, if you promise it'll be entertaining…"

"I told you," she informed him seriously. "There is never a dull moment when you're with me."

* * *

"An hour in and you've already broken your promise," she heard Sirius call out to her from the waiting area. "Why didn't you shop for a dress with your friends? Isn't that what you girls like to do more than anything else?" She ignored him, looking at herself in the mirror of the changing stall.

The dress was pretty, she had to admit. And she was lucky that they had her size. Going shopping with her friends, most of whom where thin enough not to have the problem of most high end boutiques not carrying their size, was always… stressful, in a way. Mary and Marlene never seemed to understand the _frustration._

Either a store didn't carry her size, or it looked unflattering because the designer didn't know how to design for bigger girls. Of course, she could always adjust the dress later on… but she had no real skill in that area.

She let out a sigh, and finally left the stall and stood before Black, who was lounging on a couch with her purse and the things she had bought at Flourish and Blots.

"Delightful," he told her. "I can see why James fancies you."

"The _dress_ , Black," she told him. "What do you think about the _dress?"_

She didn't want to think about Potter right then, and ruin her good mood.

"It's _lovely,"_ he said, as if he didn't care much about the dress. "But you know I don't know much about women's clothing, Evans. So it looks just about the same as every other dress you've tried on."

She sighed. "Does it look alright in the back?" she turned to give him a proper view.

"Well, it makes your arse look good, if that's what you're asking," he answered, unabashed.

" _Black!"_

"Well, how else was I supposed to answer that question?" he defended. " _It accentuates your shoulder blades?"_

She came over to him and sat down beside him. "I'll let you in on a secret—that you must _not_ tell Potter."

He settled down beside her, so that they were both awkwardly lounging on their backs. "Go on," he prompted.

"I have a date," she said. "With Karl Nesbit."

"The Hufflepuff?" Black asked, sounding astounded.

"Yes," she said, giving him a warning look. "I asked him out just after exams were finished—and we agreed to go on a date sometime during the summer. Anyway, we are. And I wanted to buy a dress. A nice dress. Like this, maybe," she played with the hem of her dress.

"And…" Sirius seemed confused. "This is important… why?"

"Well, last year he dated Rachel Rune, didn't he?" she said. "I mean, you know what she looks like. She's thin… and tall… and thin… like a Muggle model."

"You said thin twice," he pointed out.

"Well, she is," Lily said. "And I'm _not._ And I guess I'm just worried that he has a… a type. That I'm not."

"So what?" Black asked. "I think you girls think we guys are more obsessed with a woman's weight and figure than we are. You're a looker, Evans. And you've got nice knockers and a killer arse, which is what matters."

He didn't complain when she delivered an obligatory slap to his stomach with the back of her hand.

"No, really," he continued. "You should _hear_ James go on and _on_ about you. It can get rather sickening after a while. Doesn't shut up."

"You promised not to bring him up," she reminded him.

"Well, it's impossible not to, in this instance," he said. "No one thinks you're pretty more than he does."

She turned her head to look at him, before bursting into laughter.

"I'm serious!" he protested, which only spurred her laughter on, which in turn cause him to scowl deeply. "I am," he muttered. "He's an absolute ass about it, too. Any guy compliments you, he flies off the handle, but if guys _don't_ compliment you, he thinks they're insulting you by omission. Merlin _forbid_ anyone _insults_ you. Really, I don't know why you don't just date him. He thinks you're the prettiest bird in the world."

"Oh, _please,"_ she said, her laughter ebbing away as she regained control of her lungs. "I don't need you playing his games as well. No, I will not date James Potter. Never will. Because if _he_ likes a good game, then I can play as well."

"What does that mean?" Black looked at her suspiciously.

"Doesn't matter," she said, forcing herself to sit up. "Well, It think I'm going to get this dress. And…" she looked at her watch. "Yes, we've got some time left. Let's walk around and sightsee, and then head to The Leaky Cauldron for a bite to eat, yeah?"

"Alright," Black said, standing up tiredly. "As long as we don't have to do anymore _shopping."_

She left to get dressed in her own clothes, paid for the dress, which prompted Sirius to ask alarming (to the shopkeeper) questions about Muggle money, and they left the store, heading through the streets of London.

Finally, they found themselves at The Leaky Cauldron, which was as well, for Sirius made a right buffoon of himself on more than one occasion, pointing out mundane Muggle things with awe or sniggers, and exclaiming loudly that the Muggle candy shop was "The biggest disappointment since finding out that he couldn't charm the stairs at school to have a personal vendetta against Snivellus."

Sitting in a booth in a dark corner of the The Leaky Cauldron, they sipped their Butterbeers and ate slices of pie, which, in Lily's opinion, were a little off. The crust was somehow a tad soggy, and after a few minutes, she pushed her plate away, unable to stomach any more. "At least the Butterbeer is good," she said, taking another sip."

"Should have let me get a Firewiskey," Sirius muttered through his straw.

She rolled her eyes. "It's the middle of the _day,_ Sirius."

He made a comical look. "So," he said. "What does… _Lily Evans_ do with her holiday?"

"I had wanted to do an internship with the Ministry," Lily said. "But my Mum and Dad didn't want me to—they thought it would be too dangerous. So I'm doing a summer job at a Muggle place."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What Muggle place?"

"It's _awful_ ," Lily sighed. "I'm working as an office assistant at this small little firm. I'm mostly filing things, and mailing things." She shook her head. "I can't tell you how often I'm tempted to just wave my wand and be done with all my tasks in a minute. But… one of them might see me, and I'd rather not get expelled for doing magic in front of a Muggle before my last year."

"Sounds like a right pain in the arse," Sirius said. "What's the point of being Of Age if you can't use magic?"

She shrugged. "There aren't many magic users in Cokeworth, or magical establishments."

"So," he said. "You want to work for the ministry?"

She nodded. "I want to be an Auror."

He looked at her, stunned. "You?" he asked. "An Auror?"

"Does that sound so shocking?" she retorted.

"No," he said quickly. "You've got the skills for it, I suppose. And the tempter, where James is concerned at least. James wants to be an Auror, too," he added.

"I guessed," she said. "He signed up for most of the same classes I did. And either he was being his usual stalkerish self, or he's got the same career path. Or both," she added thoughtfully.

"So," Black said. "Why do you want to be an Auror?"

She inhaled deeply. "All this… you know. This stuff going on with You-Know-Who, it's… it's really shaken me up. You read the news," she nodded to the Daily Prophet beside her. "And you read about Muggles and Muggle-borns getting killed left and right… and even non Muggle related wizards who resist him. And you have to wonder… 'Am I next?'"

There was a long silence after she said these words. "I want to make a difference," she said. "I want to fight, for those who can't. I want to protect those I care about, and everyone else, too."

"That's noble," Sirius said, after a moment.

"What about you?" she asked, taking another sip of Butterbeer. "You've got any plans for the future?"

He shrugged. "Not sure about being an Auror, but… I don't know. I've still got a year before I really have to decide."

"You should start thinking about it, though," Lily replied. "I mean, you've got your NEWT's to study for."

He shrugged again. "We can't all be prepared a summer in advance. I bet you've already done your summer homework."

"I haven't even started," she sniffed. "I can't bear the thought of doing schoolwork the first week of the holidays. I'm planning on starting next week, at the earliest, if I can bear it." She took another sip. "Can I… ask you for some advice? About… about guys? It's just… I'm nervous about my date with Karl, and… and my own friends aren't much help. Alice has been mooning over Frank for years, and Mary is too shy to talk about guys, and Marlene doesn't even _like_ guys—"

He groaned. "Look," he said. "If James knew I gave you advice on dating another guy… he'd curse me into oblivion."

"Oh, please," she said, rolling her eyes. "Like he'd care what I do over the summer. As long as he can get me to agree to go out with him with witnesses present, at school, I daresay he'd—"

But the waitress had arrived, handing them their bill, which Lily hurriedly paid, eager for the conversation to be over. "Well," she said, "I think I should head back. My parents get worried if I'm gone too long in a Wizarding area. They don't seem to realize it's just as dangerous, if not more dangerous, everywhere else."

"Right," Sirius said, standing as well, following her out of the pub. "It was nice seeing you, Evans."

"The same with you, I'm surprised to find—don't roll your eyes, you can hardly blame me," Lily said, smiling at him playfully. "I'll see you around, Black."

"Same," he said.

She Disapparated, arriving in an alleyway near her house. As she crossed the street and hurried onto the front porch and through the front door, she realized she hoped she would see Black again sooner than just the start of term. And so, she decided she would write him a letter.

Sirius Black was, perhaps, not as bad she always assumed he was.

* * *

When Sirius returned to the Potter's house, he was given a late supper, played a game of Exploding Snap with James, and went to bed. The Potters were surprised, when he arrived home in high spirits, seeing as he left rather in a foul mood. James asked him what had happened, to make him so upbeat. Sirius told him he spent some time in the Alley, and it wasn't a bad day of sorts. This seemed to satisfy his friend, although he knew James did not quite entirely believe him.

Sirius didn't know _why_ he didn't tell James he ran into Lily. For some reason, it didn't seem right too, not right now, anyway. His day with Lily had been surprising fulfilling. He had enjoyed himself immensely, even though he had always thought of Lily as a do-gooder, boring, teacher's pet. He could even imagine, hard as it was even a day ago to think of it, of perhaps becoming friends with her. And their time together seemed too sacred in a way to tell James about it. James would only bombard him with questions and demands.

And so Sirius concluded it would be better if James didn't know about his adventure with Lily.

It would be nice, he thought, to have something nice and good that was just _his._

* * *

 ** _To be continued…_**

 **Thanks so much for reading!**

 **Next chapter coming soon… (probably within the next few days/week :)**

 **(ps I'm kind of nervous posting this story cause it's my first HP fic I've ever really written/posted... so I'm sorry if I make mistakes and/or it's not too good :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear Sirius (I hope you don't mind me calling you that, it didn't seem right to refer to you by your surname in a personal letter.)_

 _I hope this letter reaches you, and that Potter has not stolen it and read it for himself. I didn't put my name or address on the front, and hopefully he didn't recognize Themis. Please don't give him the letter, I'd rather he not partake in our conversations._

 _Yes, I said 'conversations.' Plural. I fully intend to converse with you frequently over the summer. I enjoyed spending time with you Tuesday in Diagon Alley (and in London, of course). I plan, if you're willing, to continue nurturing this seed that one might call a friendship._

 _I know that you and Potter are great friends, and I admire that, but I have a request that may make you uncomfortable. Please don't tell Potter about this correspondence between us. He'd needle his way in and ruin everything. If you feel you must tell him, then I understand, but I would rather if this didn't involve him. I'm having too good a summer for him to ruin it with his ways._

 _How are you doing? Now that I've gotten to the part I intended to write, I am not sure of the words. Funny how that happens, isn't it? But I do want to know how you are doing. You were very brave to open up to me on Tuesday, and given our history, I know that it was a stretch for you to trust me. I noticed over the years that you tend not to open up to people very easily, and I am very honored that you let me in, even if just a little._

 _I fully intend to keep my promise of keeping what you said, or write from here on, if you chose to, a secret between us. I want you to know that you can trust me. I can be your confidant. And if you have anything to get off your back pertaining Potter and what an arrogant idiot he is, then I am your most eager ear. Everyone seems to him and it would be nice to know that someone else knows he's not perfect. I'm sorry, I forgot he's your best friend. I suppose I shouldn't have said all that._

 _My summer is going well. My job is as boring as always, but at least I'm getting paid. Having Muggle money is useful when living in a Muggle area, but it's rather a pain to get it converted to Wizarding money. My family and I are going to Albton just before July turns to August. I'm very excited, because I absolutely love the ocean. Have you ever been to the shore?_

 _Have you noticed, that with us being Of Age now, it's exceptionally hard not to use magic flagrantly? I know so many of our classmates, and indeed, much of the Wizarding Community, do use magic without any thought of consequence, but I try to be conscientious of any Muggles about. I swear, some witches and wizards don't even recognize when Muggles are around! It drives me absolutely insane. Apparating and Disapparating too. It's so stressful to make sure no one is looking in your direction, or might notice if you suddenly disappeared. But I'm getting the hang of it._

 _I'll let you in on a secret, since you let me in on one of yours. I was scared to learn to Apparate. And it didn't help that Potter had such predisposition for it, so I went ahead and learned it anyway, even though I wanted to wait until this year to get certified. Thinking back, I think it was good that I forced myself to learn it, because it's heavenly useful. It's bad enough that he's so good at flying. Which leads me to my second secret. I hate flying. Because I can't do it. Because I'm afraid of heights._

 _And because flying is unnatural and humans shouldn't do it._

 _That's why I have a hard time going to Quidditch games. It's not because I hate the sport, or because I hate Potter so much I don't want to watch him show off (which I don't.) It's more that I get so vexed and anxious watching people zoom about at the risk of death, that I swear, I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack the entire game._

 _And yes, that includes Potter. I don't think even his inflated head could keep him in the air, if he fell off his broom. And I would be sad if he got injured. There was that time last year, when he hit the stands headfirst, and fell, about twenty feet? He had a concussion and was bleeding, and I thought my heart had stopped. I almost went to the Hospital Wing to wish him a speedy recovery, but then I remembered all the time he had humiliated me over the years, and I realized he would just use it as an excuse to humiliate me further._

 _Don't tell Potter I was worried about him, or me not going would be a moot point._

 _I have now written two pieces of parchment, and I know you do not have the best attention span for such things, so I will refrain form writing any more. Please write back. It's up to you, of course, but I would like to write to someone. It's nice to write to someone who does not know nearly everything about you already, like my friends._

 _(Also, Themis brought some chocolate chip cookies, and are my late great-aunt's recipe. I made them just for you. Feel free to share them with Potter if you'd like, and his parents. Although I'm not sure how good they are compared to Mrs. Potter's baking.)_

 _I'm ending this letter before I have to get a third piece of parchment._

 _Please write back,_

 _Lily Evans._

The last few lines were scrawled in tiny, unorganized writing as she ran out of space. Sirius sat back against the pillows of his bed, gazing down at the two pieces of parchment, before setting them down carefully beside him, picking up the strange container brought by Lily's owl. It seemed to be made of some kind of glass—and yet did not feel like glass at all. Was this that 'plastic' that Remus and James had told him about? But he didn't care to speculate any further on the container, for as soon as he removed the lid with a spell, a wondrous smell drifted up to him. He picked up one of the large cookies.

Lily Evans had enchanted them to stay warm, as if they had just come out of the oven.

"She's _spectacular,"_ he murmured, the first time he had ever associated the word with Evans, and took a bite.

And that was then that he decided he _was_ going to write back, if only to request that she send him baked goods with _every_ letter she writes.

After a few moments of peaceful indulgence, the door to his room opened, and James stepped in. "What's that smell?" he asked, looking around with definite curiosity. "It smells amazing—is it—" he stopped, when he saw Sirius with the strange container. James grinned, bounding over over to the bed and reaching into the container.

"Hang on!" Sirius protested, grabbing the letters and folding them, stuffing them under his pillows. " _Ask_ before you take any."

"You have like, twenty of them," James said, giving Sirius an annoyed look.

"Yeah, and they were made especially for _me,"_ Sirius replied. "So if I give any to anyone else, it'll be out of the goodness of my kind and _generous_ heart."

James rolled his eyes, making a face. " _May_ I have a cookie?" and under his breath, but loud enough for Sirius to hear, he added, "Greedy bastard."

Sirius charitably offered him the container, and scowled when James took not one, but _two_ cookies from it.

"Who sent them to you anyway? Wormtail and Moony are shit at baking," James said as he bit in. He looked at the cookie in interest. "This is really good," he said, awed. "And don't think I didn't see those letters you were so quick to hide. Do you have a girlfriend or something?"

"No," Sirius replied honestly. "Just a friend sent a letter and some cookies along with it."

That seemed to stump James. "Who was it?"

"Doesn't matter," Sirius shrugged. "What do you want to do today?"

"I want to eat these cookies," James said, reaching for another, but Sirius slapped his hands way. "What?"

"They're mine, made especially for me, and _I_ intend to eat all of them," Sirius said, placing the strange lid on the container and setting it aside. No doubt they wouldn't spoil quickly, but he doubted they would last long before they were all eaten. If not by him, then by James, who seemed to be a in a famished state at all times.

"We could go flying," James offered.

"Alright," Sirius agreed, though he did not feel much like flying. They seemed to do that more than anything else over the summer holidays, and Sirius had gotten bored of it already. The thing with James being so rich was that their house-elf did most of the work around the house, and his parents, who were retired, did the rest. So he and James were mostly left to entertain themselves. One could only play Quidditch, or chess, or Exploding Snap, so many times in a day. And while James had no problem getting up to mischief, Sirius always felt a bit of… guilt, he supposed was the word, doing anything that might, even benevolently, make Mr. and Mrs. Potter's life hard. They were, perhaps, the only adults whose opinions and good favor he actually cared about. But after a week or two he knew he'd give into James' desire to pull pranks, or work on pranks for the upcoming school term. Good behavior could only be kept up for a short amount of time.

As they zoomed around the Potter's expansive gardens, Sirius pondered how James would react if he knew that Evans had written Sirius a letter. Would he be angry? Or would he demand that Sirius try to persuade Evans to go on a date with him? And if James read the letter… and realized Evans didn't know how to fly…. James would no doubt come up with some scheme to teach her how to fly on a date. It would end badly and Sirius would probably have to find a new best mate afterwards.

"I'm going to go wash up and then write some letters," he told James, when they had come in from flying. James merely grunted tiredly from the kitchen counter.

Sirius returned to his room, washed up in the washroom, and sat down at his desk. As he took out what he needed in order to write the letter to Evans, he sat there, puzzled over _what_ he should write. He had never written a letter to Evans before. Actually, that was a lie. He wrote _lots_ of letters to Evans before. Howlers in which he sang crude songs, joke letters, prank letters… he almost regretted them now, but not really. He was not used to _conversing_ with Evans. It felt strange and jarring that they had suddenly crossed over such a barrier.

 _Dear Lily (I'm returning the favor and calling you by your first name as well)_

 _I hope you're alright_

 _Those cookies you sent were incredible. I've never tasted any so good. James wanted to eat all of them. Don't worry, I didn't tell him you were the one who made them, or he'd mummify them and display them in a case in the room where his family keeps some of their heirlooms._

 _I would like to recommend you send me some baked goods with every letter._

 _I'll have you know that James has only mentioned you short of ten or so times since the holidays started That's a record low for him. And Mrs. Potter mentioned twice that she would like to meet you. Maybe sometime you could come here and meet them (I'm joking. James would probably die from joy and shock)_

 _How are things with your sister?_

Sirius paused, contemplating how to continue.

 _When is your date with Nesbit? I promise I won't tell James, or he'll sink into a depression. He really is quite crazy about you._

 _Anyway, that's all I have to write._

 _Write back if you feel like it._

 _Sirius._

He gave the letter to his owl, a barn owl named Balls, short for a slightly _more_ inappropriate name he had thought was hilarious when he had first gotten him as an almost First Year. Now the damn thing wouldn't answer to anything else. He almost opened the letter to tell Lily this, and to describe the look on Mrs. Potter's face when he had begrudgingly told her what the owl's proper name was, much to Mr. Potter and James' amusement. But he had written enough, he thought, and sent Balls on his way.

He ate some more of the cookies, and by then Prongs had recovered from the heat, and was back in his room, demanding Sirius give him some of them as well.

* * *

Lily cleared her throat, and was rewarded by silence. She set her jaw, and stepped into the kitchen, where Petunia was sitting at the table, reading a book. "Hello, 'Tuney," Lily said, "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

The only indication that her sister heard her was the slight shifting of her position in her chair, so that Petunia now sat facing a different direction than Lily. Lily decided to take that as a Petunia Evans classic: 'no, but I won't acknowledge you either way', and fully entered the kitchen, placing her own book on the table and sitting down. She contemplated using her wand to prepare tea, but knew that would only irritate and instigate the present situation.

So she stood up and put the kettle on, and returned to her seat, aware that Petunia was watching her out of the corner of her eyes. "What?" Lily asked, looking up from her book.

Petunia pursed her lips, straightened her back more than it already had been, and ignored her.

Lily scowled, and focused on her own book instead.

To be honest, she had been rather banking on an internship at the ministry this summer. The tenseness of the holidays at the Evans' household was becoming too much to bear. She peered at Petunia again over the top of her book, and the young woman stiffened again.

"What do you want?" Petunia asked, finally turning to look at her.

"Nothing," Lily said quickly. "I just looked at you. What, is that a crime these days?"

"It is when a creepy, fat, freak like you does it," Petunia snapped, standing up and grabbing her cup of tea, the contents sloshing precariously, and stalked from the room. Lily watched her leave, eyes stinging. She stood up to finish preparing her tea.

She walked back to the kitchen table and sat down. She sighed. She was jealous of Marlene, who _was_ interning at the ministry this summer. She was also jealous of Alice—who had graduated and was working towards _making a difference._

Mary was visiting family in the Dominican Republic, which sounded _far_ more enticing than being stuck in Cokeworth for the summer with Petunia, and _who_ _knew_ what Dorcas was doing. She sighed, and blew on her tea, before taking a sip. Her book was interesting, but wasn't holding her attention for long enough to get any headway in it.

 _This was the problem with growing up_ , she thought to herself, as she took her tea and book out the back garden and sat down on the garden sofa. _One's friends grow up too, and are not always readily available for entertainment or guidance._

She sat up suddenly. That's right. She did have a person she could write to that was far too immature to be doing something sensible with his time. She took her tea and book, and yet again stood up from her seat. By the time she got to her room, she felt abuzz with excitement. Why didn't she think of it before? Sirius Black.

He could be _her_ confidant as well.

* * *

Sirius opened the letter, Themis hopping from one foot to the other, eyeing Balls with dislike.

 _Dear Sirius,_

 _I am very pleased you wrote back to me. I'm glad you seem to be in better spirits._

 _My date with Nesbit has not happened yet, and I am very nervous about it. We've set a date—a few days before I leave for Albton. Our agreement was, if we enjoyed the date, we would start things officially at the start of term, with writing to each other over the summer. That way we don't have to deal with a long distance relationship over the holidays. I'm very nervous about the date._

 _I already said that._

 _But it's true. He's always dated girls that were far… well, prettier than me—and thinner. I don't know why he even agreed to go out with me. And I wouldn't have asked him, if Mary and Marlene and Alice had not encouraged me so much. And Dorcas was practically prepared to ask him for me. I'm going to miss her this coming up year. They seem to think I'm a catch, but I doubt any guy would agree with that, no matter what you said (and I refuse to believe that my only redeeming qualities are my ass and 'knockers' thank you very much.) Any dates I've ever been on have always ended disastrously, although I'm not sure if that's because Potter always gets in the way and messes everything up, or if I'm just not worth the hassle Potter brings to the equation. Either way, that's why I wanted a date with Karl over the holiday, before term started up again, so Potter couldn't show up and do his usual trickery. I'd like to feel like I'm worth it, you know? To have a guy be genuinely into me._

 _How is Potter, by the way? Being his usual annoying self?_

 _Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a bitter letter. I'll try to talk about something more positive._

 _Marlene is enjoying her internship at the Ministry, and Alice is doing well in Auror training. Mary has gone abroad for the holiday, to visit some relatives. Dorcas is doing something that she says she can't talk about. I'm rather curious, but I've decided not to press matters. Whatever it is, I think it's serious. I'm worried, but I trust she knows what she's doing. As such, I'm afraid no one has much time to write to me, and so I think you'll find I'll be sending you quite a few letters. Usually the five of us get together a few times for the summer… when we ran into each other the other day, it was because it was our last chance to hang out before everyone left to go do something incredible. It'll be sad now that Dorcas and Alice have graduated. I'll really miss them._

 _They usually visit me in Albton, and we spend a few days by the shore together… but that won't be happening this summer since everyone is so busy. Perhaps, if you'd like, you could visit me? Sans Potter, of course. Only if you'd like, no pressure, but it's wonderful and lovely and I think you'd like it._

 _And I daresay I will not be visiting Potter's house. I don't want to go anywhere near anything that belongs to him. No. Thank. You._

 _Anyway, I'm sorry that this letter is rather distasteful… I spoke with Karl yesterday to confirm the date of our date, and it reminded me about Potter and his habit of getting in the way of my chances for romantic happiness. I swear, I don't know why he thinks it'll work. I might consider dating him if he had any respect for me. Don't tell him I said that, or I'll castrate you. The last thing I need is Potter pretending to be mature and respectful just so I'll agree to go out with him._

 _I'm ending the letter here because the mere thought of Potter is making my blood boil._

 _Please write back, with something incredibly embarrassing about Potter, so I can have a good laugh._

 _Lily._

Sirius raised his eyebrows, setting the letter down. He could hear her voice through the words on the page. He opened a box and placed the letter inside with her other one. He charmed the box shut, so that James, should he desire to, couldn't open it.

It was odd, her wording. He had to admit, Prongs had a habit of getting in the way a lot whenever she dated someone. But he hadn't actively tried to sabotage any relationships since before last Christmas. Granted, Sirius wasn't sure if Lily _had_ any relationships since last Christmas. If James hadn't mentioned it, perhaps she hadn't tried dating anyone in the last six or so months.

Which only incited a bit of irritation. Why couldn't she see that James _had_ matured? Everyone else saw it. He'd grown up a lot over the last few months, and at this rate, by the time school came around, he'd be so mature and grown up that Sirius would have to find a _new_ best mate.

But Lily never seemed to notice those things. He doubted she would ever see him as anything other than an immature prat.

Irritably, he pulled out a piece of parchment, and scribbled,

 _Lily_

 _I understand you are kind of pissed about James, but he's grown up a lot and I think you're being too hard on him_

He paused here, wondering if this was a smart thing to do. She might never write him back.

He took out his wand a quickly removed the ink with a quick spell.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _I know that James is a complete idiot when it comes to you. But he's really into you, and he's grown up a lot, if you bother to notice. At this rate, he might even become Head Boy. No, that would be impossible. And I would disown him if that happened._

 _But really, he's not as bad as you think he is. And he really cares about you and would be totally devastated if he found out you felt this way_

 _I mean, it would probably crush him if he heard you saying he's added to your 'unhappiness' or 'self-hate' or whatever_

 _And besides, you're literally one of the prettiest girls in school. And don't tell James I said that, or he'll make sure I never have children. And if you want proof, just send a letter to James asking him if he thinks you're pretty. He'll send back fifty pieces of parchment with his adoration._

 _I'm serious_

He paused, wondering if he should erase that last line. Curse his name and its similar pronunciation to a useful word.

 _I've got to go, James is calling for me. We're going to visit Remus._

 _Talk to you soon_

 _Sirius_

He folded the paper, addressed it to Lily, and gave the letter to Themis, who promptly flew away. As he walked from the window, he sat on the bed, glaring at a poster of the Chudley Cannons, the players flying by winking at him.

It was then that he heard James calling his name again, and he got up, grabbed his trainers, and sauntered downstairs.

* * *

 _ **TO BE CONTINUED…**_

 _The letter writing only goes on for about a couple more chapters. Not too much longer before we get to the start of term and the Jily part of the story really starts! :D_

 _Thanks for reading!_

 _See you soon!_


	4. Chapter 4

"So… Moony… you talk to Evans recently?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably as James spoke. If James knew that he _, Sirius_ , had been writing Evans… well, first, he'd be shocked. Second, he would accuse Sirius of pranking or jinxing her, or something. And then, if he found out they were spilling secrets to each other, he'd be _so_ shocked and astounded he'd probably faint.

"Uh, yeah," Remus said. "A bit. She sent me a letter a few days ago."

"What did she say?" Sirius asked.

His three friends turned to look at him curiously.

"Since when do you care about Evans?" James asked, voicing what the three of them clearly were thinking.

"I care about Evans deeply," Sirius replied, keeping a straight face. "Don't you know, Prongs? I've been in love with her since First Year."

They continued to stare at him, before James smiled broadly. "Come off it," he laughed. He turned back to Remus. "Did she… mention me at all?"

It was Remus' turn to shift uncomfortably. He was lying in his bed, recovering from a night as a werewolf, while Sirius, James and Peter lounged around his room, eating chocolate and playing games. "She… she might have…" he said truthfully. "But really, James, I don't think you want to know what she wrote."

James frowned. "It can't have been that bad," he said. "I mean, she's called me every foul name known to Wizard kind. What did she call me this time?" he asked, a dismal look on his face.

"Nothing," Remus said quickly. "She didn't call you anything. You know, she only says snide things to you because you… well, you… don't really…" he trailed off, looking as if he wanted to say something, but didn't have the guts to say it.

 _Because you're a prat to her,_ Sirius thought, finishing Remus' thought.

James nudged a chocolate wrapper sulkily. "You think I have a chance with her this year?" he asked. "I mean, _really_ have a chance with her? Or… should I just… give up?"

Sirius and the others stared at him. "Maybe you should," Sirius said. "I mean… it's not like she likes you very much, as a potential boyfriend _or_ as a person."

"I don't know," Remus said quickly, at the devastated look on James' face. "I think she isn't as opposed to you as she might lead you to think."

"Did she say something—" James asked quickly, looking hopeful.

"No," Remus shook his head. "If she's ever admitted to having feelings for you, it wasn't to me. But I just… have a feeling."

"Right…" Jame said, sighing.

"You know, I have a thought," Sirius said, speaking up.

"Well, there's a first time for everything," Remus said, which earned him a half-glare from Sirius.

"Maybe don't… be your usual self when she has a date," Sirius continued, facing James.

"What? Does she have a date with someone?" James asked quickly, looking at Sirius sharply.

"How am I supposed to know?" Sirius answered just as quickly.

They all looked at Remus, who sighed. "Yeah, she has a date this summer."

"With who?" James demanded.

"Karl Nesbit," Remus said.

"The _Hufflepuff?"_ James asked, mouth open in indignation.

"The girls really like him," Peter pointed out.

"Sure, _maybe_ he's… good-looking," James spluttered, "But he's a total twat. What's she going out with him for?"

"Well," Sirius said, "When a girl likes a boy, sometimes—" he gave out a bark of laughter at the furious look James sent him. "Look, Mate," Sirius continued. "Maybe this year, you don't be a prat and get in the way of their relationship. If it even lasts the summer."

"But what if they don't break up?" James asked. "What if they get married? And live happily ever after?"

Sirius shrugged. "My advice? You've matured. Too much, if you ask me. But show her _how much_. Be her friend, not just someone who wants to date her."

They stared at him.

"Who… _are_ you, and what have you done with Padfoot?" James asked, narrowing his eyes. "Quick, Peter, smell him and see if you can smell Polyjuice potion on his breath."

Sirius let out a sigh. "It's just some _advice_ , Prongs."

"He's got a point," Remus said. "You do kind of act… possessive."

"I _do_ not," James protested. Then he frowned. "I mean… It's just…" he trailed off into contemplative silence. "I mean, _maybe,"_ he added, sounding troubled. "But I don't mean to… it's just…" but he seemed unable to find an excuse. He let out a groan. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Thought you'd have picked up on it by now," Sirius said flatly.

"So what should I do?" James asked, still staring at the ceiling.

"Be… decent," Sirius said.

"Don't get in the way of her romantic life," Remus said.

"Don't just want to date her," Peter suggested.

"I don't just want to date her," James said, indignantly. "Look, this is my last year to have a chance with her… I don't want to mess things up."

"Then stop being anything remotely close to yourself, and you should be just fine," Sirius said, giving him a thumbs up.

He just barely managed to dodge the jinx James sent his way.

* * *

When he and James finally returned to the Potter Estate, they went their separate ways. James was inordinately quiet, seeming to have taken their conversation at Remus' very seriously. When Sirius joked that he and James should switch names, James only muttered something incoherent.

Presently, James was locked up in his room, his gramophone playing loud, angsty music. Sirius finally had to put a silencing charm on the walls of his room to keep the noisy music out. He didn't understand what the big deal was. So James realized he was a prat to Lily. It wasn't like this could be that much of a shock to him. He knew Lily disliked him. Sirius supposed it was the fact that James had to accept there was a reason for it.

He heard a hoot, and looked over at one of the windows to see Themis standing on the sill, a letter attached to her one of her claws. Eagerly, he got up and walked over, taking the letter from her, throwing her a dead mouse, to which Balls hooted in indignation, and opened the letter.

 _Sirius,_

 _Write Potter?_

 _Didn't he tell you what happened on the train the day summer holiday starts? He asked me to write to him, and I promptly told him no._ _Why would I date him? And to ask him if he thinks I'm pretty? Do you think I'm absolutely bonkers in the head?_ _I am well aware that he will answer most "ardently". He will flatter me and simultaneously flatter his own inflated ego. He will use it as an excuse to play this stupid, hurtful game of his._

 _Even joking, I cannot believe you would suggest something so idiotic._

 _How about this, how about we not talk about Potter if possible in our letters. I enjoy writing to you, and I don't want to sully the experience by thinking too much about that toe rag._

 _I had a fight with Petunia today. It was rather dismal. She has this boyfriend, an absolute oaf of a man named Vernon Dursley. He's mean and has a mustache that looks very unseemly. And he's rather fat, which isn't a flaw in any way, of course, but it's an important fact to understand what I'm about to say._

 _I was making croissants, to send with this letter (please find them enclosed in the attached Tupperware ((and please send some containers back? I'm not sure what you're doing with them but our supply is starting to thin out))), when Petunia had the gall to suggest that I not 'do that to myself.' I told her, as patiently as I could, that these were meant for a friend, and that I was only going to eat one._ _Not all of them._

 _She said I should be careful what I'd eat, or I'll get even fatter. She said she thinks I'm lying about guys wanting to date me—and even about Potter asking me out so many times. As if I could make that up!_

 _Just because she can eat whatever she wants and not gain an ounce… she thinks I should be the same. She's always been like that. It wasn't so bad when we were little but…_

 _Anyway, the hypocrisy of her dating a larger man but criticizing me for being a large woman is unbearable._

 _I just get so angry whenever she makes snide, backhanded comments about my looks._

 _Anyway, I sent along the croissants. And I ate two, I hope you don't mind. I just wanted to do something to spite her._

 _I really don't mind my weight. I try to be comfortable with my body, even if not many others are. My sister certainly isn't. I always felt as though the guys who dated me felt like they were compromising. I had one guy tell me he liked dating girls for their personalities, not their looks. And I'm sure it was meant to make him look good and moral, but instead it just made me feel about an inch tall. So I'm not pretty enough to want to date for my looks? I would hate if that was the only reason guys wanted me, but it would be nice for someone to think I was the whole package._

 _Ugh._

 _Anyway, enough about that. Please enjoy the croissants. I'm going to make doughnuts next, and I'll make enough or you to share with the Potters. Maybe sometime you could send me Mrs. Potter's ice cream. I find myself dying to taste it and see if it lives up to the expectations you set for it._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Lily._

Sirius stared at the letter.

What _was_ it with girls and being so… open. Sure, James would talk about Lily sometimes, but most of the time the four of them avoided deep conversations. Lily just spilled enough personal information to satisfy Sirius' quota for three years. He wasn't even sure how to reply.

He was already finished with his first croissant by the time he had finished the letter, thankful for its distraction. He sincerely hoped every letter wouldn't be like this from here on out. He liked writing to Lily, but… this was just a bit excessive.

Lily was a broken record, it seemed. For all that she claimed to be fine with her body, she certainly had some doubts. And why did she always seem to write as if Prongs didn't think _she_ was the whole package? She always seemed to insinuate that Prongs thought her neither pretty nor interesting.

It was so far from the truth that he almost laughed, but he was shoving another croissant in his mouth, and so he resigned to eat while he stuffed the letter in the container with the other letters.

James might be a prat, and might not have handled his attraction to Lily well in the past… but Sirius had never seen someone so… in love, he supposed. James never actually said the words out loud, not in Sirius' presence, anyway, and definitely while not joking, but Sirius could recognize it in his best friend. James was hardly subtle, if one knew him well.

He wondered what James would think, if he read her letters and realized how much she seemed to doubt his affections. No doubt it would break the poor bloke's heart.

* * *

 _Lily-Flower,_

 _I hope this letter finds you well_

 _James is being insufferable lately. He seems to be under the impression he should write to you. He wants to tell you about the new broomsticks his dad and mum got us. Potter has been absolutely off the walls about them. He's already written to Remus and Peter about them, and both are coming by this afternoon to see them in action. It feels weird that I was included in the gift, but then again, the Potters have always been rather generous_

 _Perhaps you could come by and try them out as well. I'm sure James would be more than happy to give you a lesson._

Here Sirius scrawled a rather lewd face, representing James. He grinned, knowing how much the suggestion would irritate Lily, and then continued on.

 _Those croissants you sent with your last letter were fabulous. Mrs. Potter absolutely loved them, and wanted to know who had made them so she could ask for the recipe. Do you mind if I tell her? I won't if you'd rather I don't_

 _Anyway, Potter wants to write you. He had me take a picture of him riding his new broomstick, and he plans on sending that along as well. If I'm correct in my estimations, this is the first letter he's sent you this summer, which is actually quite impressive. Last summer he wrote something the week he got home. Granted it was coated with dung bomb powder… but I think we can all agree (albeit regretfully, on my part) that James has matured over the last few months. Curse him._

Sirius pondered if he should mention that James found out about her date with Nesbit. _And_ if he should mention that James finally accepted what a… well, prat was the most prominent word that came to mind in reference to his friend, he had been the last six years. But Sirius was having a hard time accepting that his best mate was himself accepting that he had some growing up to do. Scowling at the thought, Sirius continued on.

 _Please be nice to him, and maybe write something back_

 _Don't tell him I told you this, but he's actually really nervous about writing you. Seems to be under the impression that you'll bite his head off or something_

 _He just wants to get to know you_

 _He's matured a lot (too much) and is quite a good bloke (too good) and an all around decent fellow now (too decent)_

 _Just saying, if you write back (and I hope you write back), you won't go all "lily Evans" on him and crush his poor little dreams._

 _Oh, and Remus and Peter are coming by, and they're staying for a few days, so if I don't write a letter back right away, that's why._

 _Anyway, talk to you soon,_

 _Sirius_

Sirius signed his name, folded the letter up, wrapped it in twine, and attached it to Balls' foot. The owl hooted at him, before setting off out the window.

"Oi," James appeared in his door. "Sending a letter to your secret girlfriend?"

"Not my girlfriend," Sirius said, rising. "When are Moony and Wormtail due in?"

"About ten minutes," James said. "Who is she? Do I know her? Does she go to Hogwarts?"

"Yes, and yes," Sirius said, not seeing any point in lying.

"Then who is she?" James asked, looking immensely amused and curious. "You've been writing to her for a few weeks now. Or is it a bloke?"

"It's a she," Sirius said, as the two of them walked down the stairs.

"And you're… 'just friends'?" James asked, skeptically.

"Yup," Sirius replied shortly, wishing James would just drop the subject. "Just friends."

"Sorry, mate," James said, slapping Sirius' arm in pity. "I'm sure she'll come around and see what a catch you are eventually."

Sirius was just about to mutter that he doubted James would still feel this way if he _knew who_ the girl was in question, when there were two loud knocks on the front door. Sirius and James glanced at each other, before hurrying into the foyer.

Wormtail looked his usual self, as he walked in the front door, except looking a little uncharacteristically worn, and Remus… well, Remus looked his usual self. Worn-down, tired, and a little worse for wear.

"The brooms!" Peter said excitedly, clapping his hands together once in eagerness. "Where are they?"

"Oh, yeah," James said. "Come on, they're upstairs."

They four made their way to James' room, where James proudly presented his new broom. "With this, I'm sure to make a difference in Quidditch this year," he told them. "Not that I don't ever make a difference—I'm the best on the team."

"Yes," crooned Peter, in a tone of complete honesty that made Sirius feel like throwing up, "That's why you were made Captain last year, James!"

"Yes, yes it was," James said, looking very much like a peacock preening his feathers. Then he sobered slightly. "Of course, everyone else on the team is very good too. Anyway, excited for this year. I think we've got another chance of winning the Cup. Would be good, to go out on a bang."

"Prongs… you should go pro when you graduate," Peter said. "You'd be _so_ good at it."

"Well, I think I'd have a chance," James said, causing Remus to catch Sirius' eye and the two of them rolled their eyes. "But I'm dead-set on being an Auror."

"You know who else is dead-set on being an Auror?" Sirius said, absentmindedly picking at the throw rug on James' floor. "Lily."

The three of them turned to stare at him.

"How'd you know?" James asked, dumbfounded. "I didn't even know."

"Well," Sirius said, "It's not like she tells you everything, is it?"

"Yeah, but," Peter said, "It's not like she tells you _anything,_ though."

"How _do_ you know that?" Remus asked, frowning at Sirius suspiciously.

"Did _you_ know, Moony?" James demanded, turning to Remus.

"Of course," Remus shrugged. "Lily told me on a patrol one night in our fifth year."

James looked like he was struggling with something. Finally he just shrugged. "Well, she would make a good Auror, wouldn't she? Good, if not top, marks in almost everything… and the four of us can attest that she's _very, very_ good at jinxes."

"Yeah," Sirius said casually, avoiding Remus' gaze. "She is."

"Well," James said, "On the subject of Evans, I've got something to confess…"

"You want to marry her and have twelve children," Sirius said loudly.

"No," James said, "I mean…" then he flushed, and said, "I wrote her a letter."

"What else is new?" Remus asked, turning his gaze from Sirius to James. "What prank are you pulling this time?"

"No prank," James said, looking uncomfortable with the thought. "No, I… I wrote her an… _actual_ letter. And I didn't ask her out. Not once."

Peter gasped.

"Good for you," Remus said. "That's an improvement."

"Yeah, well, think you guys could read it and see if… she'd like it?" James asked, rummaging around in a desk drawer and drawing out a piece of parchment. The writing was so neat and orderly that Sirius knew James must have copied it from a first (or more) draft.

"Oh, come _on_ , Prongs," Sirius groaned. "Just send the letter."

"But—"

"Here, I'll read it," Remus said begrudgingly, holding out a hand for it. Despite everything, Sirius settled beside him, peering over his shoulder as the two read.

"She told me so adamantly that she didn't want to write me this summer that I just… kind of… kept away," James said, fiddling with his hands nervously. "Kept my distance, you know? Maybe she'll like me more if I'm not going after her so… much…"

"That's… surprisingly mature," Remus said, sounding surprised, looking up at James. "What you just said, not this letter, though," he added.

"I agree," Sirius added. "I think poetry will just annoy her."

"Well, I'm nothing if not mature," James joked, before frowning. "What'd'you mean, she wouldn't like the letter? I spent hours on it."

Sirius snorted and was about to make a joke at James' expense when Remus nudged him hard in the ribs. "It's just… seems a bit… flowery."

"Lily's name is a flower," Peter pointed out. "And she's a girl, maybe she likes poetry."

"It's too much?" James asked, ignoring Peter.

"Look," Sirius said. "You've got to stop asking us for advice on Lily, mate. I don't have the energy to deal with your girl problems. Besides," he added, getting up and walking over to one of the overstuffed armchairs, sitting down heavily. "This isn't exactly a fun kind of conversation. Now, if you want to talk about her—"

"I don't think objectifying Lily is what James is in the mood for, either," Remus interrupted, "And frankly, neither am I."

"— _brains,"_ Sirius finished defiantly, glaring at Remus. "Look, you send her this letter, she'll think it's a joke. She'll frame it to laugh at on a rainy day."

James turned a delightful shade of pink, then grabbed the letter from Remus, crumpling it up and tossing it into the bin. In his eagerness to throw it away, it had uncharacteristically missed the bin and landed under his desk. He sat back down on his seat. "Should I just not write, then?"

"No," Sirius said, remembering that he had written to Lily and told her James had planned to write. It would be strange, then, if James did _not._ "I think you should."

"What should I write, then?" James said, looking insecure.

Sirius, feeling increasingly annoyed with this conversation, not liking to talk about _feelings_ , especially James' annoyingly fixation on _Lily_ , _especially_ when there were pranks to be designed and broomsticks to fly. He said, as casually as he could to get the conversation over with, "Stay away from your feelings. Just make pleasant conversation. Don't be too flowery or romantic. She doesn't like that. Just… be yourself and act like she's any other person you know, and not the 'love of your life'."

James frowned, thinking this proposition over.

"And how do you know so well the heart of Lily Evans?" Remus asked Sirius, amused, with something just shy of curiosity and suspicion in his eyes.

"Alright," James stood suddenly, striding to his desk and sitting down with a purposeful air. He took out a piece of parchment, a quill, and dipped it in ink. He began scribbling away, in that large scrawl of his, and finally finished.

"Are you going to let us read it?" Remus asked.

" _Force_ us to read it, more like," Sirius muttered. Though he had to admit, he was morbidly curious what James have finally decided to write.

"No, no I won't," James said, standing and walking to his owl. As the owl flew out of the room, he turned back to them. "And now I wait."

 _And now_ I _wait,_ Sirius thought, knowing he was sure to get a letter from Lily about what she thought about the contents of the letter.

* * *

 ** _To be continued…_**

 **Hi! Sorry for the late chapter!**

 **Also sorry if there's any mistakes in this chapter. I don't have as much time to work on fics lately, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to focus more on writing/posting and a little less on editing. I tend to stress so much about making chapters 'perfect' that I end up just not working on them at all. Done is better than Perfect, as they say.**

 **Also, and I'm sure by now this goes without saying, I don't put much effort into keeping up with whatever Rowling gives the fans as far as extended canon over the years… I go primarily by the books (** ** _excluding_** **cursed child of course), with some outside stuff gleaned from whatever I feel fits into this story. And I'll probably be taking some creative liberties with the canon we are given in, well,** ** _canon,_** **to make things run more smoothly in general** ** _._** **Jsyk :)**

 **Anyway! Thanks for reading! See you soon!**


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